College as a Vet

     Having strolled the hallowed halls of a college campus for the first time since 2004 i have noticed a few things that I thought the viewing public should know about....

1. College freshman look like high school freshman

2. College freshman are as stupid as high school freshman

3. The word "like" is now a verb, adverb, preposition, and noun,

4. Blaring fox news before class to "enlighten the children" is not appreciated.

5. Telling the annoying surfer guy behind you to "shut his fucking cock holster"; also not appreciated BUT highly effective.

6. Homicidal urges are natural when dealing with pre-adult children

7. I can call all my professors "Darlin", both man and woman.

8. I can introduce myself as Mr. Jack; it lets them know I'm informal but still the boss.

9. Sitting down in an air conditioned room listening to someone speak for 3-4 hours a day, all the while getting payed for it, is a great fucking job.

10. The real world is one of common sense and college isn't going to teach you that...only life will.


     Now i guess you could say that some of the above numbered items are not due to the school or students changing but more likely a change in myself. Not every thing has changed though; such as....

1. The linguistic relationship between Asian professors and the English language has still not improved.

2. I am still not LEGALLY authorized to carry a firearm on school grounds.

3. Advanced math; such as calculus; is still just as worthless to me now as it was eight years ago.

4.  I STILL REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HATE MTV.


Shot out-
Jak