Saturday, August 25, 2012

Mans best friend and worst enemy


     I would like to cordially thank my roommate/bed mate/road trip companion for thoroughly ruining this fine evening for me. First upon returning home from home depot I found multiple less then solid welcome home gifts on my staircase, shortly followed up with finding a two thirds gone mink shawl of my mothers that he decided would make a tasty treat. Those fun times haven't occurred to much recently but today must be my lucky day because a few hours later i realized that his stomach was significantly larger then normal. To make a long story short this asshole decided to get into his food and ate about five pounds of very expensive dog food  forcing me to shoot hydrogen peroxide down his throat and watch him throw it all up in my fucking bath tub. Guess who got to clean up the stairs and the bath tub huh? Well it isn't the hairy asshole in the picture that's for damn sure. By the way that assholes name is Ruger and hes a bad ass.

     Real men need real dogs, and real dogs fall into two categories; Working and Sporting Dogs. I can already here what you macho assholes who carry a chihuahua or a pekingese around are saying but i dont give a shit because everyone knows your wife/girlfriend picked out your dog. The bottom line is WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN WILL YOUR DOG WATCH YOUR BACK?

     Ruger is a king shepherd and hes all mine. King shepherd are a extremely large breed German shepherd variant who are intelligent and good natured. This breed makes a fine sheepherder and working dog. They are also a naturally courageous guard and watchdog, showing courage, strength, and hardiness in their role of protector. I.E. they are just as at home licking a baby as they are sinking their teeth into your arm. Hes almost 5 months old now and is weighing in at 51 lbs. At the two year mark he should be over 150 lbs and amazingly lazy; otherwise known as perfect.

     I have quite a bit of experience with hard ass dogs starting with my old mans Akita; Bruce Lee. Yes it is awesomely racist to have a badass Japanese dog named bruce lee but in all honesty what else would you call it. My main memory of Bruce lee was him sitting on his haunches right next to my dads chair guarding him like he was the emperor of Japan, or as i like to think of him the Pharaoh of Miller liteville. My family also had a Rottweiler, German short-hair pointers, golden retrievers and Labs, not to mention more mutts then i can count. Most of my sisters have followed suit in their own dog choices with Boss and Flex. Boss is a crotchety 80 year old man in a Boxers body while flex is a 75 pound English bulldog who thinks hes a 7 pound lap dog. Though they are very different in personality both dogs love their owners and would protect them till the end. I know my sisters and they would do the exact same for their dogs.



Their was no way i could forget to include the mamas boy named Panzer. Probably the most scary dog in the family right now (and the only one whose bit me....twice!). An 80 lbs Doberman Pincer with a love of hedgehog squeak toys and anything owned by our old roommate dan. I purchased panzer for my girlfriend right before deployment in 2009; i figured i could either hire someone to watch over her while i was gone or i could just buy her a ass kicker of a dog. Hindsight being what it is....Just kidding Panzer has proven to be everything ashley wanted him to be and therefore that's all i could ask for in her dog. He and I on the other hand we will just have to wait and see how things go when he gets down here to the land of the free.

shot out
-Jak

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